To My Grandkids,
Island life is growing on me :)
We've been here for 2 weeks now, and the experience just keeps getting better and better. Yesterday, we started the morning at a dance class on the beach. We learned some traditional bachata, salsa, and cha cha steps, and channeled our inner 'sexy lady' to be able to move our hips the way the dance calls for. After movin and groovin, we found our way to a beachside bar for lunch- dos piña colada por favor!
Bellies full and spirits giggly, we walked along the beach for a while and found a swing hanging from a palm tree. Of course we had to stop and let our inner child shine; running to push the others as high as possible, rolling amongst the waves as if we were beached fish with no fins to push back to sea, finding a dead palm tree branch to wave in the salty air with coconut on hip... We made our way back to the main beach area which is an old boat dock in a bay. Hours were spent climbing out of the warm turquoise waters onto the concrete structure to run and leap off the edge a hundred more times. Practicing flips, dives, air time, and snorkeling took up the rest of our day together, and it was sweetly topped off with kisses of peach and pink hues dancing across the broad horizon.
As the colors continued to glisten across the ocean, resting the island into moonlit roads, we decided to head back to Lazy Jacks to add a couple more drinks to our tab. For some reason, my drink kept ending up empty so I'd have to ask for another one... Isn't that wild?! Anyway, now it's time to walk home and there's music blaring from a beachside bar... So, actually.. It's time to DANCE! We danced and danced, prancing all around the floor and spinning in and out of each others arms as we cycled partners.
By the time we finished dancing, we had another round gifted to us, and an hour walk home still in the agenda. Barefoot, shirtless, feeling good, and carrying a coconut (that I lugged around with us all day), the 4 of us made the trek home safely, sharing more laughs and stories before the night was over.
Yes we work- but it's mostly play right now :)
And yes mom and dad, I'm legal age here hahaha.
So.. We're kinda in love with the island, and have no plan to leave anytime soon.
This opportunity has been such a blessing, and it still feels surreal that I live on a small island off the coast of Puerto Rico with amazing locals, the coolest roommates, and my lover man ;)
Life is pretty effin good.
I manifested this years ago. I hoped it, spoke it and believed it into existence.
Change your mindset= Change your life.
Your badass life loving nana J.
To My Grandkids,
Sooo, we moved to an island in Puerto Rico!
This has been a big week for me. A couple days ago was September 16th, which is a big day for 'Jordan history'. 2 years ago on the date was my rock bottom. At a young age, I was going through a lot, and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt intense sadness, loneliness, anger, resentment, and overall hopeless for the near future. I had hit an all time low mentally, and on September 16th, 2019,
When I moved to Montana I started a brand new life. I turned those overwhelming feelings into hunger- ready to get serious about my wellbeing. I started taking care of myself, focusing on my health, practicing yoga, and spending more time alone. In those moments of solitude, I learned a lot. I dropped habits, cut relationships, recognized my desires, and started digging deep. I spent many months learning to heal a years worth of emotional trauma. I took a lot of time to look at the girl in the mirror, love her, comfort her, and recognize her strength for what she'd been through. In all my lessons, one thing rang through boldy, forcing itself to grow, flourish, and change my life: Self Love.
In the 2 years since then, I have seen myself go through many seasons of growth. I am so SO proud of the woman I have become, and I am extremely blessed to be where I am now.
Today, I woke up in a new country with Elliot. 3 planes, 3 taxis, 1 ferry ride, and a short walk later, we ended up at a farm on a small island off the coast of Puerto Rico called Vieques. It has been amazing so far, and we've already made a ton of memories here through several adventures. We will be living here indefinitely as we help rebuild a farm that was home to many volunteers and disaster relief teams.
This is exactly why I started SunGuided. I am using this website as a platform to reach out to young women like myself who are ready to get started on their journey, or who might need some big sister love and encouragement to do so. I am targeting people like myself that felt like their dreams were too big for the world nowadays, and didn't have the support or guidance to know how to reach for it.
This is exactly what I needed 2 years ago.
Life is so good, I am so blessed.
Thank you dear Universe for giving me all that I desire.
And thank you for making me experience rock bottom, it lit a fire in my soul.
Your BADASS island dwelling, self loving, EMPOWERED Granny J :)
To My Grandkids,
Stepping into my power.
Last weekend at the farm we had an Irish music festival, and I thought it would be hard to beat.. This weekend, we have an Old Time music festival (that is still partying for another 2 days) and it has been a blast so far!! We met a pair of newly weds who are super cool, and we've pretty much been glued to the hip with them since we got here. They are one of those souls that just feel familiar, and just makes you believe that something somewhere puts us exactly where we need to be to meet the people we need to meet.
At the beginning of the weekend, Jim, the owner, asked me to lead a yoga class here for the festival. Of course I said YES and was super excited! I have only led one other 'class' and it was very chill and informal, just a couple friends and I here at the farm. Sooo, this was my first 'official' yoga class ever.. WOO! I ran through a practice flow, wrote down some notes for myself, and listened to an hour and a half worth of yoga teacher advice.. Noooo, not nervous at all :)
Saturday morning came around and the class actually had a great turnout! 8 people showed up bright and early, and I got to lead them through a lovely morning flow! I set the mood by pulling some affirmation cards, leading some breath awareness, and a nice uplifting playlist in the background. I got everyone situated into a power pose, looked back at the class, and the emotions hit me. I felt so proud of myself. I'm doing it!! I am standing on this mat, sharing wellness amongst a group, living my truth! This is exactly what I plan to do for my career, and I'm finally here. That moment is the most exhilarating feeling, reflecting on my life right now and being able to truthfully say 'This is better than I ever could've hoped. This is exactly my purpose'. As I was taking it in, a song came on that was called "Right Where You Should Be" by Quinn XCII, Louis Futon.. See my point? It was the cherry on top! This morning I led my second class, and the emotions hit the same. I am so grateful.
As some may know, recently my family lost a very special lady. She was known as a ray of sunshine, and for spreading giggly love to everyone who got the pleasure to know her. Today would've been her birthday, but she is celebrating up in the clouds and stars this time. She has always been very supportive of all of us in the family, and always supported my non-traditional lifestyle.. She was so excited for me to grow into my yoga career, and I know she is so thrilled to see me putting it into action.
After our flow, I was feeling emotional because I was so proud of myself... I heard a little voice in my head.. Good job J!! and an overwhelming wave of love and gratitude- so I know she was proud of me.. She might've been the breeze that pushed me out of my pose too- ornery lady!
This life is whatever you make of it- so make something good for yourself!
I am so blessed.
I am so grateful.
Thank you, Thank you,
Sending love always,
Your loving granny J :)
To My Grandkids,
Damn, Life is so GOOD!
Regarding my last blog about feeling like I fell out of my rhythm, I have been taking the steps I know I need to pull myself out of that funk. I think what I needed most was to realize that I am the only one who has the power to change myself, and make healthier decisions- so I'm getting back into my flow.. DANCING right back into my flow.
This weekend we had some Irish folk come through the camp and man oh man it was so much fun! Friday night I rolled out my yoga mat and sat with the band as they played into the night. My lovely fairy friend Rose had a booth set up to sell some of her hand made Goddess crowns. We shared homemade soup, laughter, thoughts, beliefs, and vibed to the music.
Saturday morning was a very chill, relaxing morning with musicians warming up here and there.. A fiddle tuning its strings, a keyboard for for pitch check, some guitarists practicing riffs, laughter and coffee being passed around. Later in the afternoon we (the volunteers who live here) gathered around Roses' booth again and shared some very special time together. After lots of dancing, a couple cups of liquid encouragement (and maybe a shot or 2..) we got invited to have dinner with the band... FEAST!!
And then the REAL dancing started. I was sitting inside and heard what sounded like a hundred clogs marching about on the back deck.. Count me in!! I hop out and immediately they grabbed my hand and pulled me in for some traditional Irish dancing. They taught me several different styles, and joked that my hippy self clogged around barefoot amongst their strong, loud tap shoes. We danced and danced, laughed, sang, listened, shared, laughed some more, danced some more, and then sat to listen to some beautifully sung Irish pieces.
It was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had.
It felt so special for me to be invited in to a group so passionate about their culture, and willing to share that part of their traditions with me!
I feel so filled with love, joy and gratitude for this beautiful life I have been gifted with. I write this with tears in my eyes. I'm so happy. I am so blessed.
I'm polka'd out...
Of all the lives I've ever lived, I'm sure this is the best so far. Thank you.
Your ever-loving, ever-growing, ever-experiencing, EVER-GRATEFUL Nana J ;)
To My Grandkids,
I've been procrastinating this blog...
You know kid, I talk a lot about 'being your best self' and keeping the energy high, but honestly that's not always the case. Yes, being your best self is the goal- on a MACRO scale. But on a smaller level of things, it doesn't always feel that way.
This past couple weeks I've been standing face to face with the emotions that live deep in my being. From feeling burnt out, low day to day energy, anger that has been suppressed, deep sadness for a loved one lost, and overall frustration for having to feel these waves rather than smooth sailing. These times come in waves.
I recently listened to a podcast called 'Your Own Magic; momentum + getting back into your flow' (Raquelle Mantra) and she basically read the thoughts from my head and made it into her own words... She talked about what it feels like when we are in our flow state, when everything flows effortlessly and we feel 'aligned' with our purpose and highest self. When I get into my flow I feel powerful, untouchable, and TRUE to what my heart desires. I feel motivated and excited to work on my business, my personal self care practices, and ready to RUN with my goals. Of course, being in flow is ideal for my best performance overall, and as much as I want to stay there all the time, I must come down to rest, grow, and learn.
I've had these waves before and I noticed that every time it comes around I see it as a burden, and ultimately get frustrated with the lack of motivation. In her podcast she talks about 'honoring the seasons' and allowing these waves to happen; obviously your soul needs rest, or to learn a lesson. Every thing happens for a reason.
So...To my heart: I feel you.
To my soul: I hear you.
To my self: I love you.
And To My grandkids: I pass to you this knowledge of my young self, to let yourself rest when you feel you need rest. Allow time to dig through your shadows and calm your inner river of emotions. We aren't going to flow perfectly all the time, this life is like an ocean wave, up and down, shooting up fierce and bold, only to come back down to rest with a trough. We ride the tide as the seasons change around us...
And then stand back up and jump back into your flow.
This is not sad. I write this from a full heart, and excitement as I get back into my flow. I have been in a subtle rest period, and my waves are building back up as this season comes to an end. I am jumping back into my flow, finding it in the gentle things I love, the small moments that make me feel refreshed and recharged. My energy swelling, ready to sail. I am okay.
Speaking of sailing... This new season comes with new adventure of course.. New scenery... New experiences.. And a one way ticket booked for both E and I..
Stay tuned :)
To My Grandkids,
Alright Alright, it's been a long time coming.
Rosie is... ALIVE!!!
2 Months ago, as you may remember, I had a head on smack down between the van and a deer... and the deer won- no questions asked. The van has been sitting in the shop parking lot all this time (in MT), and now that we live in Oregon, we haven't been able to do anything about it. The shop made it fairly clear that no progress was coming for the van anytime soon- so we hopped on the road to take the situation in our own hands.
When it comes to car knowledge... I don't have much. I can do some basic maintenance things myself; changing my oil, tires, brakes, spark plugs, etc... But trying to fix a head on shmack... It seemed pretty intimidating. As soon as Elliot and I got back to Montana we got the van on a tow truck to be sent to the house, and we headed to the junk yard to get Rosies organs. It was a bit of an adventure to get the parts, because the junk yard was wayy bigger than we thought. The owner loaded us on his four wheeler and took us for a ride through this massive vehicle graveyard, all the way to the back where there was a random blue Dodge Ram- Rosies organ donor.
It took us a couple hours to grab the parts (duh- we didn't know what we were getting into at all.) before we loaded everything back up on the four wheeler and called it a day.
Then comes the fun part.. Now we're shoulders deep in MY van learning as we go.. This screw doesn't fit there.. This piece got hit too.. Grab the duct tape.. This thing doesn't fit anywhere.. What even is that..? Time to hook up the chain and pull the frame back into shape... Where is that leak coming from? Where's my BFH? Oh god that doesn't sound right... And so on.. Lots of figuring it out as we go, and a LOT of questions (thanks for answering my calls every 7 minutes dad..). It was a giant puzzle, and the reward is our house on wheels- no pressure at all! After 2 full days, it was time to turn the key.. Which was surprisingly the hardest part because I kinda expected the thing to blow up. LUCKILY, it didn't blow up... Damn we actually did that.. DAMN WE ACTUALLY DID THAT! We just fixed the van, our home, my safe place, my lovely adventure vessel- BACK TO LIFE!
Something I've learned in my short amount of time on this Earth is that often the WORST things that happen to me end up being the BEST down the road.. 2 years ago I hit my rock bottom, the all time lowest I've ever experienced. Looking back now that moment caused me to take control of my life and GO AFTER my dreams, chasing true happiness. Now, although my sad wrecked van shot a hole through my heart, and a huge dent in our plans- it caused us to go off the path and have the best experiences we wouldn't have gotten otherwise. We have met some of the coolest people out there, and shared some amazing memories at the farm so far. It has also lead to potential travel plans in a couple weeks when we leave the farm- overall so many opportunities we would've missed if the van didn't wreck.
Some things just don't make sense. We throw our hands up in the air with the overwhelming wonder of WHY these things are possibly happening. WHY in the world can I not catch a break? WHY ME?
And there is no answer. There is no WHY. There is no definitive way of knowing- until years later and you look back and see where It took you as a result. Sometimes there will never be an answer.
And sometimes... it leads to the best moments of your life.
Give thanks through the storm, because even if all you see is the thunder and lightening, that same storm is raining LIFE on the flowers, the gardens, the trees.
Yin Yang- there must be a balance.
Your barefoot van livin, beach running, mountain climbing, Nana J :)
To My Grandkids,
This is a lifelong healing process.
Quite a while ago, when I still lived in Montana, I went to a cute little bookstore in town looking for a specific book called 'Be Here Now' by Ram Dass. When I went to the section I looked up and straight ahead of me, tucked perfectly in my view, was the book. Of course I grabbed it, and right next to it was also a book called 'Infinite Self; 33 Steps to Reclaiming Your Inner Power' by Stuart Wilde.
Even though that's what I was looking for, the books came home with me and ended up sitting on my shelf getting dusty for some months later.. Now, I've finally picked it up an WOW- it's a trip. In exploring this 'Infinite Self' book, I have started to really re-think why I do the things I do.. And how I got to where I am.. doing these things..
Usually I can only read a chapter or so at a time- it's a lot to take in. This last chapter I read, he talked about the Ego a lot. The ego is kind of like the ID- or your sense of 'Self/ I'. He talked about how the ego needs a sense of security, community, validation, etc. to feel comfortable and safe in this world... However, when the ego feels too comfortable, it can cause you to feel stuck. This world nowadays is revolved around living a comfortable life, having financial and home security, finding security in a locked up relationship, and settling into a safe routine, and judging those who don't fit into those lines. Which is fine if you're into that, those aren't bad things if you are truly happy. Me personally though, that life of routine sounds scarier than the life of risk taking.. If you haven't noticed before, we live in a very egotistical world in general.. see the correlation?
The book talked about how we should be doing things, even small things, to challenge the ego and break the 'norm'. (Taking control of your life through little habits) Wearing a chicken suit to work without explanation, walking backwards for a day, wearing your hair a funky way or talking with a new accent all day.. i.e. skipping college, living in a van, working seasonal jobs, travelling, healing myself and others, doing cold plunges, planning to buy my own land young and run a farm instead of selling my soul to an unsatisfactory job....
I am living a life of challenging the norm, and breaking away from the egos' expectation of what I should be. All I should be, really honestly, is HAPPY and SATISFIED with the life I build for myself, and I cannot hear the voices of people who disagree, I simply block them out. This statement is so important to me. When young people talk to me about their dreams and plans, some sound like their flame has been snuffed so early in life, as friends and family are pushing to follow to the norm, get a degree, get a job, get a wife, pop some kids out, continue the cycle of dreading your alarm clock so you fit in, and leaving them feeling lost at such a young age when they are "supposed to have their shit together".
NO NO NO
If you aren't EXCITED AS HELL telling me about your dreams I'm gonna ask you to stop, put aside their expectations, and tell me what YOU want, where your PASSION is. It's so important to be an influence to people my age and show them that their potential is INFINITE, if you want to travel the world and own a small business and go on amazing trips with people all over the world, YOU CAN. You can shoot for any single thing you could possible imagine, you just have to work for it and make it happen for yourself. Get over your ego, release it, stomp on it, grab it by the throat and tell it that YOU can DO ANYTHING. anything. anything. anything!
A bit all over the place but you get my message right?
You have infinite potential.
I love you.
I see you.
I hear you.
I support you in your wildest dreams.
Graaaaannnnnnnnyyyy J :)
P.s, photo is from an impromtu adventure.. Somewhere in a store in Oregon and an older guy invites us to his private lake beach for a couple drinks with friends.. wild.
To My Grandkids,
I talked about my plans and the universe eavesdropped.
This week at the farm has been just as interesting as the rest. As always, we have been meeting tons of beautiful people from all over the place, and getting the opportunity to listen to the stories that brought us to the same place. One guy specifically stood out to us, as he invited us to sit around the fire and chat (a propane one.. we're under a fire ban). We sat and talked for a couple hours, telling of our travels, our memories around the world, and eventually getting to our futures. I brought up my blog and this website I have created, and we got pretty deep into it.
I haven't gone public yet with what I want this website to turn into.. Actually I haven't done much with my goals at all on this website honestly... Mostly because I didn't even know what I wanted it to be. This guy, Matthew, opened up the floor for me to be completely open and talk BIG about what I want from SunGuided. At first, I had a very general statement- I wanted to 'help everyone, and express my love for yoga and wellness'.. Now.. If you've ever talked business, you know that is just about the shittiest business motto you could have. Seriously, I didn't even realize that was a problem until I said it out loud and immediately realized how vague and bland that is. Through a series of 'Who, what, why, and how' questions, he sorted my open and vague thoughts into a statement of what I want.
I learned that as much as I love to help everyone, It's impossible to appeal to everyone in a business sense. I narrowed down my purpose of this website, realizing that what I really see for the future of SunGuided is exactly what I needed 2 years ago:
I want to help young women like myself step into their full power, potential, and SELF LOVE through health, wellness and yoga. I want to show young women that they are STRONG and powerful, and that they are the only ones in charge of their life. I want to empower young women with the information they need to follow their wildest dreams, no matter what that may look like, and show them that NOTHING can stop them from living the life they desire- we all deserve that.
I want this generation to learn how powerful they really are and OWN IT.
This is what I see for SunGuided, and I am going to make it happen.
I have been in the shoes of a young woman feeling defeated, hopeless, and out of control. I have felt the deepest depths of desire that make you want to cry because you crave change so badly. I know what it feels like to lack self love, and still try to pour into the cups of others while mine is dry. I have felt all the worst, lowest, most stuck feelings- and I learned how to pull my own self up when I need to. I learned how to refill my own cup through self love, and what it looks like to gain control back of my life. I know what it takes to turn powerless into empowerment, and I want to be an inspiration to those who need that kind of guidance.
I put those statements into the universe, I speak it into existence. The first time I said it out loud with the passion behind it that I have, It gave me chills.
In fact, the very NEXT MORNING from our fire conversation.. The universe put the ball right in my court. I got a private message from a young girl online who shared her story with me, and asked for advice in the exact areas I defined. Nothing is a coincidence- her name is Destiny. The universe makes me giggle :)
I see it, I feel it, I know it is mine.
SunGuided is flourishing, and I am ready.
Here we go.
Here we grow :)
Your strong, beautiful, successful, EMPOWERED, BADASS Granny J
To My Grandkids,
Cold Therapy, Breathwork, WimHoff...
What's it about?
Recently I've been very interested in watching videos of Wim Hoff. If you've never heard of him, he is an amazing being who is testing out the limits of what our physical and mental limits are. He has a method that is very well known, and has been studied and backed up by science. In a nutshell, Wim does a series of intense breathwork, causing his blood to be very oxygen saturated. This in turn activates certain chemicals in his brain to flow throughout the body, which prevents the body from focusing on stress. After gaining complete control and awareness of his breath, he subjects himself to extreme situations- whether it be ice baths, hiking up snowy mountains barefoot with only shorts on, or running a half marathon in the desert with no water- he endures through it with no problem.
Since I've been interested in it for a while now, I decided to give it a try. For the past 7 days, as soon as I wake up, I take a walk down to the creek, take some deep breaths, and get in. (Mind you, this water is runoff from Mt Hood above us, so it is COLD.) As soon as I get in, my survival instinct is to get OUT, or gasp and lose my breath.. But the science behind this is all in the breath, so I force myself to slow it down, filling my lungs slowly and deeply, then exhale fully, pulling more and more oxygen in my body slowly and completely focusing on the breath. After a few moments of breathing deeply, I gain control of the situation. My body shuts off the danger response as I continue to focus on the breath. Inhale, exhale, slowly but with power, I accept the cold as a lesson. I do this for several minutes, shooting for 3-5 before I take one last breath and step out. The step OUT is where euphoria really hits- I start laughing and jumping around, feeling FULL of energy, strength and power. I am overflowing with excitement- and feeling completely and entirely HERE in the moment. It feels exhilarating.
I've only been a friend of the cold now for 7 days, but I am going to continue to indulge myself in discomfort in the mornings- It makes me feel ALIVE and ready for my day. Not only is this practice good for the BODY, but for the MIND as well.
As I continue learning more about my own mind, body, and soul, I will continue to share what I experience, hoping to influence others to be curious for their own well being.
Until we meet someday, Love always,
Your ice cold granny J :)
To My Grandkids,
Life in the mountains- nothing beats it.
This past week at the farm has been so fun. Since we are a campground in a pretty popular area, we have sooo many different people passing through here. Every single day here is such an experience- there's literally never a dull moment.. especially since we're in Oregon..
If you've never been to Oregon, it's BEAUTIFUL. The vibes here are incredible, and everyone you meet is so kind and conscious. Oregon is also known for the topic of bigfoot, aliens, spirituality, psychedelics, hippies, blah blah blah... All the cool things.
This week we had some very sweet souls pass through the farm. As soon as we checked them in, we got into the topic of our thoughts on aliens and sasquatch... Now, I'm a big encourager of being open minded on ANY topic, and also deciding what you believe based on how YOU feel, not how you're told to feel or think.. so.. do your own research and decide for yourself.. but also stay open to the idea that ANYTHING has the potential to exist- we truly don't know the limitations of existence.
We ended up talking with this group off and on for the rest of the day and the next, coming out on the deck to have coffee with them in the morning. We talked about our spiritual beliefs and experiences we've had to solidify those beliefs. Giving different perspectives on what/who/ the universe is and how it works. Just like how I felt in California when I met my soul family, these 3 lovely people fell in the same category- feeling familiar at heart, and the connection felt smooth and easy regardless of the fact that we had just 'met'. We ended up gathering 7 people that night in a circle in the yard to do a breathwork session together. The session was awesome, and for me personally brought a lot of truth to the surface to be released (which was very emotional).. We ended the night with some hugs and gratitude for the time we got to spend together at this wonderful place- I always get brought right to the people I am meant to be with (or they get brought to me).
A couple nights later, all 7 of us who live here gathered in the living room for a little 'family party'. Our magickal friend Rose brought in some guitars, a kalimba, a keyboard, a microphone, and amps to hook it all up to.. (and a disco light for the ceiling which was the cherry on top!). For the next couple hours we shared drinks, fresh cherries, laughter, 'fairy spliffs' (an herbal mixture of flowers and medicinal herbs found around the property that have healing benefits.) stories, thoughts and beliefs, and time spent genuinely enjoying each others beings. It was such a lovely time, my heart felt full and blessed to be here. I am 100% exactly where I am meant to be- the universe has made that very clear.
This week has been all about keeping my mind, my heart, and my curiosity open. Honestly, those 3 things have the potential to change the world- think about it.
Think for yourself kid, that's the only way this world will change.
Maybe by the time you come around we'll know more about what's going on here, how did we get here, what is our purpose here... I've got my ideas, we'll chat over coffee some day :)
Granny J :)