7/11/2021

To My Grandkids,
     Finding peace in the small beautiful moments. 

     Lately at the farm, life has been pretty chill, and we've been able to spend a lot of time with a variety of different people. As far as life for Rosie is going... there's no update there. My lovely pink van baby is still broke down in Montana- which is insanely frustrating. Unfortunately it's completely out of my hands sooo... I'm being forced to be patient.. (something I'm still learning)..  As much as I want to say the situation doesn't bother me, it really does, and it's been a struggle in my mind going rounds about the details for a while. Yes the van itself is the main problem- but I haven't driven since, and I've been increasingly more anxious in the car than usual.. I know that many people have hit deer and been fine, but it shook me pretty hard to watch and feel the whole thing go down honestly. Not saying this as a pity party, but as a raw reflection of how this situation makes me feel on the daily- which sucks. 
    Enough about the sap story though- that's not what this is about.
    My mind is busy, yes yes, but I wanted to point out some moments I almost took for granted amidst these transition times.
     
     Last night, all 6 of us living here together gathered for pretty much the first time. We had dinner together a few nights before, but this is the first time we had all come together to really hang out. We had a card game going on, guitars being passed around, some eating dinner, and lots of laughter and love. In those moments of community is when I feel the most grateful. By some wonderful grace, we all ended up here together at the same time. Family seems to find me wherever I go, wether it is on a random beach in California with 20 barefoot vagabonds, in Montana with my forrest dwelling friends, or here on a farm amongst the muddy feet and deep laughs, it always finds me and hugs me tight.
     While I kick my shoes off and walk with adventure, I am most supported and grateful for the one my soul dances with. He walks around in perfect harmony with the sun on the soil, knowing his place here is valid and needed. He is strong and strong willed- mighty as the mountains. He has shown me endless love, and constantly reminds me of my own strength and power. He easily became my best friend, my motivator, my adventure buddy, my heart. I am so blessed. Every moment spent with him is a lifelong memory- may it be a midnight walk around a random town we've never seen, moving to a new state, almost sliding to our death on ice when I had my broken wing, or simply working in the garden together... 
These moments and people are so special. 
This life is so special.
These memories will never die.
I am forever grateful for the small beautiful moments.

This was kind of all over the place- but so is my brain right now :)
One of these days I will tell you these stories in person as we dance barefoot by our own river together, sharing the same special memories that I am loving. 
One of these days, I can't wait to meet you :)

Love, 
Your forrest dwelling nana J 
     

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