4/27/20

To My Grandkids,

Lately, there is a lot going on.
     A couple days ago, I lost my Papa Deano, and flew home to be with family. Since being home, I have met with family I haven't seen for a LONG time, got to see my friends, pass by my childhood homes here, and got to see my dog, Kaycee Joe, (who is LOVING life there!). Just so you are caught up with the scene here, the world is in a massive pandemic panic right now, so I've been cautious, and traveling feels really weird because everyone is wearing masks and gloves, and staying away from each other.
     Since I've been here, everything feels off. Granted, I'm not here for a great reason, but still, I don't feel right. As I am with the people I grew up with, my friends and family, I keep thinking back on the past couple years of my life, and how I got to where I am today. I won't get too deep into it cause I've already written a different blog all about how my past created who I am today- which I may or may not post because it got pretty personal... But to give you an idea, I am not the same person I was when I was walking these streets, laughing with my friends, living in these homes. That being said, I feel out of place, like I don't belong here anymore. 
     I don't. 
     AND THAT'S A GOOD THING.
     Obviously I love and miss everyone here dearly, and it's nice to see them, but i'm glad it's in passing, because I DON'T belong here. I belong out in the world, exploring, hiking barefoot up a mountain in Montana and hanging a hammock to watch the sunset. I belong on a beach, breathing in the salty air with a smoothie in my hand while I work on my business. I belong in a forest without my phone, only carrying my backpack and a yoga mat, or sitting by the Gange river in India with fellow yogis, enjoying the cool breeze, listening to the children play. I belong in my van, on the road to nowhere, stopping in the middle of the desert to appreciate the beauty of the stars. I belong OUT THERE.  
       And now, that's where I am. OUT doing what I love, in beautiful places that excite me, and fill me with wonder and energy. AND I LOVEEEE EVERY SECOND OF IT.
     (Absolutely no offense to anyone from my hometown, I love you all- and I know some of you LOVE it in Cameron, and that's okay, just not where I personally am supposed to be!!!)
     (let me get back to the main topic---)

     Your great grandpa Dean was a great guy. He was a Vietnam Veteran, and he left this world giving his last breath to save a womans life. I got to go on a vacation with him a couple months ago, which are stories you'll have to ask me about in person someday HAHAHA! I will link his obituary so you can read about him. He is in a much better place now, and he wouldn't want us to be sad, but rather to celebrate that he lived a great life!
https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/kansas-city-mo/james-masters-9146494?

                                                        Don't ever forget how short life is. 
                                                           Live every second of your life to the fullest,
                                                               because everything can change in one second.
                                                                Even though you don't exist yet,
                                                                 I  LOVE YOU!!!
                                                                  Love,  Nana J :)
   

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